Psychopaths Working in Children's Services

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* NEW POSTS this page:
1. The Gray Rock Method of Dealing with Psychopaths
http://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
- Directions for those who want to get rid of a psychopath contact and directions for those who through family or work ties need to retain a contact with a psychopath.

2. Defense Against the Psychopath

3. The Sociopath's Game- Covetous

Robert D Hare

Psychopaths Working in Children's Services

First a disturburbing word from Robert D Hare PhD Psychologist - Without Conscience: the Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us (109-110) :

The idea that a psychopath could actually hang up a shingle as a lawyer or and investment counselor is not very comforting. But even more ununsettling are the cold calculated violations of power and trust committed by a small number of professionals - doctors, pyschiatrists, psychologists, teachers, counselors, child-caseworkers - whose very job it is to help the vulnerable.

In the Mask of Sanity, for example, Hevey Cleckley vividly described a psychopathic physican and psychiatrist. He noted that the real difference between them and the psychopaths who end up in jail or in psychiatric hospitals is that they simply manage to keep up a better and more consistent appearance of normality.

However their cloak of respectability is thin and uncomfortable and easily shed, often to the dismay of their unfortunate patients [clients]. . . leaving them feeling bewildered and betrayed. And if the victims complain, they may be traumatized further by a system primed to believe the therapist. . . .

The most frightening use of trust to satisfy one's own needs involves the most vulnerable members of society. . . . The most terrifying of the abusers are psychopaths, who think nothing of inflicting devastating physical and emotional damage on the children in their care . . . psychopathic abusers are unmoved . . .

Several months ago, I received a call from a psychiatrist in a western state. She commented that more than a few private agencies contracted by the state to treat disturbed and delinquent adolescents had been charged with abusing the clients in their care. Her experiences with these agencies led her to suspect that many of the offending personnel were psychopaths who willingly used their positions of power and trust to sexually mistreat their patients. She proposed that the Psychopathy Checklist be used to screen the personnel of private agencies that bid for custodial and treatment contracts

- Robert D Hare PhD Psychologist

***********************************

Puzzling People : The Labyrinth of the Psychopath - Thomas Sheridan Interview

KZUM radio w/host Scott Colburn 2011
hmm... "psychopath", Think: Bush, Rumsfield, Cheney, World
Corporation CEO's, "snakes in suits" dictating world policy...

A number of people have expressed the need for this information to get out to as many people as possible. So here is a posting by Linda Youngson B.A., B.Ed., M.Ed (psychology) found on a popular A and E TV discussion board on Children's Aid Society Corruption. Below the original posting, Youngson has also provided some quotes from a very informative book Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert D Hare PhD, the world's foremost expert on Psychopathy.

She promises to add more information on psychopaths to this article. So check back here for additional information.

Here are some additional informative links:

A Psycho/Sociopath Speaks Out http://askdrrobert.dr-robert.com/sociopath.html

Another Psycho/Sociopath Speaks Out http://askdrrobert.dr-robert.com/psychopath.html

A Parent of a Psychopath Speaks Out http://askdrrobert.dr-robert.com/sociopath2.html

The Psychopath Next Door http://chericola57.tripod.com/infinite.html


 

PSYCOPATHS IN THE SYSTEM !

Posted May 28, 2007 by Linda Youngson (199 of 229)

Yes Children's Aid is Corrupt! There is a lot of money being made off this system at the expense of our families and our children.

I hope all of you who write in on this subject are joining groups and are trying to make the system better for those behind you- Remember some of those behind you are your own children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews etc.

Here is some other food for thought: I believe that CAS/ FCS/ the Agency (whatever name your local establishment goes by) and the Family Court system has become a haven for people who have learned to deaden their consciences as well as genuine psychopaths (people who have been born with no consciences).

Good people who really care, quickly see the corruption and leave or burn out in these jobs BUT the ones with deadened or no concsciences stay. Over time, as the good people leave and are replaced, there is a build up (more than can be found in the general population) of psychopaths and those with deadened consciences.

These are the ones who are ultimately responsible for our children when they are in the system! Any wonder they are so cold and calculating and don't care one sniff for you, your family, or your children. They don't care, and the psychopaths don't even have the ability to care about anybody!

There is a new book called Snakes in Suits: When Psycopaths go to Work, written by 2 PhD psychologists, Paul Babiak, Ph.D. and Robert D Hare Ph.D., about psychopaths in our everyday world. I encourge you to go to your library and borrow a copy. Psychopaths are out there working jobs and doing all kinds of evil and we need to be aware of the places they are most likely to gather and how to identify them.

Hang in there everyone! Give each other help and support.

Psychopath - [Part 1] - Psychology - Documentary

Psychopath - [Part 2] - Psychology - Documentary

Psychopath - [Part 3] - Psychology - Documentary

Psychopath - [Part 4] - Psychology - Documentary

Psychopath - [Part 5] - Psychology - Documentary

[Below are excerpts from another knowledgable book on psychopaths ! ]

Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us
By Robert D Hare PhD

“Psychopaths are social predators who charm, manipulate, and ruthlessly plow their way through life, leaving a broad trail of broken hearts, shattered expectations, and empty wallets. Completely lacking in conscience and in feelings for others, they selfishly take what they want and do as they please, violating social norms and expectations without the slightest sense of guilt or regret.” (xi)

Several years ago . . .we used a biomedical recorder to monitor electrical activity in the brains of several groups of adult men . . . “Frankly, we found some of the brain wave patterns depicted in the paper very odd. Those EEGs couldn’t have come from real people.” . . we hadn’t gathered them from aliens and we certainly hadn’t made them up. We had obtained them from a class of individuals found in every race, culture, society, and walk of life. Everybody has met these people, been deceived and manipulated by them, and forced to live with or repair the damage they have wrought. These often charming - but always deadly - individuals have a clinical name: psychopaths. Their hallmark is a stunning lack of conscience; their game is self-gratification at the other person’s expense. Many spend time in prisons, but many do not. All take far more than they give. (1)

“To give you some idea of the enormity of the problem that faces us, consider that there are at least 2 million psychopaths in North America; the citizens of New York have as many as 100,000 psychopaths among them. And these are conservative estimates. Far from being an esoteric, isolated problem that affects only a few people, psychopathy touches virtually every one of us.

Consider also that the prevalence of psychopathy in our society is about the same as that of schizophrenia, a devastating mental disorder that brings heart-wrenching distress to patient and family alike. However, the scope of the personal pain and distress associated with schizophrenia is small compared to the extensive personal, social, and economic carnage wrought by psychopaths. They cast a wide net, and nearly everyone is caught in it one way or another.” (2)

Psychopaths are rational and aware of what they are doing and why. Their behavior is the result of choice, freely exercised . (22)

Psychopathy is a syndrome - a cluster of related sympoms. (34)

A signpost to this trait is often a smooth lack of concern at being found out. (35)

Psychopaths show a stunning lack of concern for the devastating effects their actions have on others. Often they are completely forthright about matters, calmly stating that they have no sense of guilt, are not sorry for the pain and destruction they have caused, and that there is no reason for them to be concerned. . . . Psychopaths sometimes verbalize remorse but then contradict themselves in words or actions. . . . Psychopaths’ lack of remorse or guilt is associated with a remarkable ability to rationalize their behavior and to shrug off personal responsibility for actions that cause shock and disappointment to family, friends, associates, and others who have played by the rules. Usually they have handy excuses for their behavior, and in some cases they deny that it happened at all. . . Although sometimes a psychopath will admit to having performed the actions, he will greatly minimize or even deny the consequences to others. (40-43)

Many of the characteristics displayed by psychopaths - especially their egocentric, lack of remorse, shallow emotions, and deceitfulness - are closely associated with a profound lack of empathy (an inability to construct a mental and emotional “facsimile’ of another person). They seem unable to “get into the skin“ or to “walk in the shoes” of others, except in a purely intellectual sense. The feelings of other people are of no concern to psychopaths.

In some respects they are like the emotionless androids depicted in science fiction, unable to imagine what real humans experience . . .Psychopaths view people as little more than objects to be used for their own gratification. The weak and the vulnerable - whom they mock, rather than pity - are favorite targets. ( 44)

Lying, deceiving, and manipulation are natural talents for psychopaths. With their powers of imagination in gear and focused on themselves, psychopaths appear amazingly unfazed by the the possibility - or even by the certainty - of being found out. When caught in a lie or challenged with the truth, the are seldom perplexed or embarrassed - they simply change their stories or attempt to rework the facts so that they apper to be consistent with the lie. . . Psychopaths seem proud of their ability to lie. When asked if she lied easily, one woman with a high score on the Psychopathy Checklist laughed and replied, "I'm the best. I'm really good at it, I think because I sometimes admit to something bad about myself. They'd think ,well, if she's admitting to that she must be telling the truthabout the rest." She also said that she sometimes "salts the mine" with a nugget of truth. "If they think some of what you say is true, they ususlly think it's all true." (46-47)

Psychopaths seem to suffer a kind of emotional poverty that limits the range and depth of their feelings. While at times they appear cold and unemotional, they are prone to dramatic, shallow, and short-lived displays of feelings. [BUT] Careful observers are left with the impression that they play-acting and that little is going in below the surface. . . Many clinicians have commented that the emotions of psychopaths are so shallow as to be little more than proto-emotions : primitive responses to immediate needs . . " It's all the same. It's programed, all worked out. I could get angry right now. it's easy to turn on ans off." (52-53)

Labratory experiments using biomedical recorders have shown that psychopaths lack the physiological responses normally associated with fear. . . Fear keeps us from doing some things. . . For most of us, fear and apprehension are associated with a variety of unpleasant bodily sensations, such as sweating of the hands, a "pounding" heart, dry mouth, muscle tenseness or weakness, trembles, and "butterflies" in the stomach. . . These bodily sensations do not form part of what psychopaths experience as fear. For them, fear - like most other emotions - is incomplete, shallow, largely cognitive in nature, and without the physiological turmoil or "coloring" that most of us find distinctly unpleasant and wish to avoid or reduce. (54 -56)

In psychopaths, there inhibitory controls are weak, and the slightest provocation is sufficient to overcome them. As a result, psychopaths are short- tempered or hotheaded and tend to respond to frustration, failure, discipline, and criticism with sudden violence, threats, and verbal abuse. They take offense easily and become angry and aggressive over trivialities, and often in a context that appears inappropriate to others. But their outbursts, extreme as they may be, are generally short-lived, and they quickly resume acting as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened. . . .When psychopaths "blow their stacks" . . . they know exactly what they are doing. Their aggresive displays are "cold"; they lack the intense emotional arousal experienced by others when they lose their temper (59-60)

Psychopaths have an ongoing and excessive need for excitment - they long to live in the fast lane or "on the edge", where the action is. In many cases the action involves breaking the rules. (61)

Psychopaths usually don't get along well with one another. The last thing an egotistic, selfish, demanding, callous person wants is someone just like him. Two stars is one too many. Occassionally, however, psychopaths become temporary partners in crime - a grim symbiosis with unfortunate consequesnces for other people . (65)

There may be as many as 2 or 3 million psychopaths in North America . . . for every psychopath who is a serial killer, there are 20,00 or 30,00 psychopaths who do not commit serial murder. (74)

For psychopaths . . . the social experiences that normally build a conscience never take hold. Such people don't have an inner voice to guide them; they know the rules but follow only those they choose to follow, no matter what the repercussions for others. They have little resistance to temptation, and their transgressions elicit no guilt. Without the shackles of a nagging conscience, they feel free to satisfy their needs and wants and do whatever they think they can get away with. Any antisocial act, from petty theft to bloody murder, becomes possible. (75-76)

Psychopaths are very good at giving their undivided attention to things that interest them most and at ignoring other things. Some clinicians have likened the process to a narrow-beam searchlight that focuses on only one thing at a time. Others suggest that it is similar to the concentration with which a predator stalks its prey. (76)

Imagining the world as the psychopath experiences it is close to impossible. (78)

Their readiness to take advantage of any situation that arises, combined with their lack of the internal controls we know as conscience, creates a potent formula for crime [manipulation and abuse]. (87)

The idea that a psychopath could actually hang up a shingle as a lawyer or and investment counselor is not very comforting. But even more ununsettling are the cold calculated violations of power and trust committed by a small number of professionals - doctors, pyschiatrists, psychologists, teachers, counselors, child-caseworkers - whose very job it is to help the vulnerable. In the Mask of Sanity, for example, Hevey Cleckley vividly described a psychopathic physican and psychiatrist. He noted that the real difference between them and the psychopaths who end up in jail or in psychiatric hospitals is that they simply manage to keep up a better and more consistent appearance of normality. However their cloak of respectability is thin and uncomfortable and easily shed, often to the dismay of their unfortunate patients [clients]. . . leaving them feeling bewildered and betrayed. And if the victims complain, they may be traumatized further by a system primed to believe the therapist. . . . The most frightening use of trust to satisfy one's own needs involves the most vulnerable members of society. . . . The most terrifying of the abusers are psychopaths, who think nothing of inflicting devastating physical and emotional damage on the children in their care . . . psychopathic abusers are unmoved . . .Several months ago, I received a call from a psychiatrist in a western state. She commented that more than a few private agencies contracted by the state to treat disturbed and delinquent adolescents had been charged with abusing the clients in their care. Her experiences with these agencies led her to suspect that many of the offending personnel were psychopaths who willingly used their positions of power and trust to sexually mistreat their patients. She proposed that the Psychopathy Checklist (see below) be used to screen the personnel of private agencies that bid for custodial and treatment contracts. (109-110)

Many psychopaths wind up in prisons or other correctional facilities time and again. . . However, many psychopaths never go to prison or any other facility. They appear to function reasonably well - as lawyers, doctors, pstchiatrists, academics, mercenaries, police officers, cult leaders, military personnel, businesspeople, writers, artists, entertainers, and so forth - without breaking the law, or at least without being caught and convicted. These individuals are every bit as egocentric, callous, and manipulative as the average criminal psychopath; however, their intellengence, family background [connections], social skills, and circumstances permit them to construct a facade of normalcy and to get what they want with relative impunity. (113)

The cases [of psychopathy] that come to the public's attention represent only the tip of a very large iceberg. . . The rest of the iceberg is to be found nearly everywhere - in business, the home, the professions, the military, the arts, the entertainment industry, the news media, academe, the blue-collar world. Millions of men, women and children daily suffer terror, anxiety, pain, and humiliation at the hands of the psychopaths in their lives.

Tragically, these victims often cannot get other people to understand what they are going through. Psychopaths are very good at putting on a good impression when it suits them, and they often paint their victims as the real culprits. (115)

" 'Getting in touch with your feelings.' For psychopaths, the exercise - like the search for the Holy Grail - is doomed to failure. In the final analysis, their self-image is defined more by possessions and other visible signs of success and power than by love, insight, and compassion, which are abstractions and have little inherent meaning for them. (134)

"Psychopaths have trouble putting into words emotional ideas because they are vague and poorly understood. . . . Psychopaths' thoughts and ideas are organized into rather small mental packages and readily moved around. This can be a distinct advantage when it comes to lying. . . . skilled liars are able to break down ideas, concepts, and language into basic components and then recombine them in a variety of ways, almost as if they were playing Scrabble. But in doing so, the psychopath endangers his overall script; it may lose its unifying structure or becomes less coherent and integrated than if he were dealing in large thought units. For this reason the competent liar often uses a thin 'truth line' to help keep track of what he says and to ensure that his story appears consistent to the listener. ' The most mischievous liars are those who keep sliding on the verge of truth'

Although psychopaths lie a lot, they are not the skilled liars we often make them out to be. . . . their speech is full of inconsistent or contradictory statements. Psychopaths may play mental Scrabble, but they sometimes do it badly because they fail to integrate the pieces into a coherent whole; their truth line is fragmented and patch, at best." (136-137)

"It now appears that the communications of psychopaths are subtly odd and part of a general tendency to 'go off track.' That is, they frequently change topics, go off on irrelevant tangents, and fail to connect phrases and sentences in a straightforward manner. The story line, though somwhat disjointed, may seem acceptable to the casual listener." (138)

"Psychopaths are notorious for not answering the question posed them or for answering in a way that seems unresponsive to the question" (139)

"Minor breakdowns in communication are not uncommon in normal people . . But in psychopaths the breakdowns are more frequent, more serious, and possibly indicative of an underlying condition in which the organization of mental activity - but not its content - is defective. It is how they string words and sentences together, not what they actually say, that suggests [psychopathy] abnormality." (139)

"This raises an important issue: If their speech is sometimes peculiar, why are psychopaths so believable, so capable of deceiving and manipulating us? Why do we fail to pick up the inconsistencies in what they say? The short answer is, it is difficult to penetrate their mask of normalcy: The oddities in their speech are often too subtle for the casual observer to detect, and they put on a good show. We are sucked in not by what they say but by how they say it and by the emotional buttons they push while saying it" (142)

"Psychopaths do meet current legal and psychiatric standards for sanity. They understand the rules of society and the conventional meanings of right and wrong. They are capable of controlling their behaviour, and they are aware of the potential consequences of their acts. Their problem is that this knowledge fails to deter them from antisocial behaviour. (143)

“As the signs of social breakdown grow more insistent, we no longer have the luxury of ignoring the presence of psychopathy in certain children. Half a century ago Hervey Cleckley and Robert Lindner warned us that our failure to acknowledge the psychopaths among us had already triggered a social crisis. Today our social institutions - our schools, courts, mental health clinics - confront the crisis every day in a thousand ways, and the blindfold against the reality of psychopathy is still in place. Our only hope is bringing to bear what we know about the disorder as early as possible. Otherwise, we will continue applying Band-Aids to a life-threatening disease, and the social crisis will worsen.” (163)

“ I can find no convincing evidence that that psychopathy is the direct result of early social or environmental factors. . . There is little evidence that early attachment difficulties have anything to do with the development of psychopathy . . . While some assert that psychopathy is the result of attachment difficulties in infancy, I turn the argument around: In some children the very failure to bond is a symptom of psychopathy. It is likely that these children lack the capacity to bond readily, and that their lack of attachment is largely the result, not the cause, of psychopathy. . . An individual with a mix of psychopathic personality traits who grows up in a stable family and has access to positive social and educational resources might become a con artist or white-collar criminal, or perhaps a somewhat shady entrepreneur, politician, or professional [or social worker]. Another individual, with much the same personality traits but from a deprived and disturbed background, might become a drifter, mercenary, or violent criminal. In each case, social factors and parenting practices help to shape the behavioral expression of the disorder, but have less effect on the individual’s inability to feel empathy or to develop a conscience. No amount of social conditioning will by itself generate a capacity for caring about others or a powerful sense of right or wrong. . . The quality of family life has absolutely no effect on the emergence of criminality in psychopaths . . . [However] a deprived and disturbed background, where violent behavior is common, finds a willing pupil in the psychopath, for whom violence is not emotionally different from other forms of behavior. . . Parenting behavior may not be responsible for the essential ingredients of the disorder, but it may have a great deal to do with how the syndrome develops and is expressed. There is little doubt that poor parenting and [or] unfavorable social and physical environments can greatly exacerbate potential problems and that they play a powerful role in molding the behavioral patterns of children. The complex interplay of these forces helps to determine why only a few psychopaths become serial killers while the vast majority [the ones from good families] go through life as “ordinary” criminals, shady businessmen, or legal predators [or ruthless destructive social workers! ] (170, 172, 174 -175, 178)

[I want to clarify that Hare is stating that psychopaths, people without conscience and feelings, are born psychopaths. But how violently they manifest their destructive behavior may be linked to their experiences in childhood.

Hare is also stating that trauma in childhood that could be a contributing factor that results in more violent psychopaths MAY include poor parenting but it may also include other traumas in childhood refered to as "unfavorable social and physical environments" . - Linda Youngson]

"Many writers on the subject have commented that the shortest chapter in any book on psychopathy should be the one in treatment. A one-sentence conclusion such as, 'No effective treatment has been found', or, 'Nothing works', is the common wrap-up to scholarly reviews of the literature." (194)

"A basic assumption of psychotherapy is that the patient needs and wants help from distressing or painful psychological and emotional problems . . . the patient must recognize that there is a problem and must want to do something about it . . . Psychopaths don't feel they have psychological or emotional problems, and they see no reason to change their behaviour to conform to societal standards with which they do not agree.

To elaborate, psychopaths are generally well satisfied with themselves and with their inner landscape, bleak as it may seem to outside observers. They see nothing wrong with themselves experince little personal distress, and find their behaviour rational, rewarding, and satisfying; they never look back with regret or forward with concern. They perceive themselves as superior beings in a hostile, dog-eat-dog world in which others are competitors for power and resources. Psychopaths feel it is legitimate to manipulate and deceive others in order to maintain their 'rights' and their social interactions are planned to outmaneuver the malevolence they see in others. Given these attitudes, it is not surprising that the purpose of most psychotherapeutic approaches is lost on psychopaths." (195)

"Most therapy programs do little more than provide psychopaths with new excuses and rationalizations for their behaviour and new insights into human vulnerability. They may learn new and better ways of manipulating other people, but they make little effort to change their own views and attitudes or to understand that other people have needs, feelings, and rights. In particular, attempts to teach psychopaths how to 'really feel' remorse or empathy are doomed to failure" (196-197)

"Not only was the [therapeutic] program not effective for psychopaths, it may actually have made things worse! Psychopaths who did not take part in the program were less violent following release from the unit than were the treated psychopaths . . . Unfortunately, programs of this sort merely provide the psychopath with better ways of manipulating, deceiving, and using people. As one psychopath put it, 'These programs are like a finishing school. They teach you how to put the squeeze on people'

They are also a rich source of facile excuses for the psychopath's behaviour: 'I was an abused child', or, 'I never learned to get in touch with my feelings'.

Courses in psychology, sociology, and criminology are ver popular [with psychopaths] These programs , like those devoted to therapy, may suppy psychopaths with little more than superficial insights and knowledge of terms and concepts -buzzwords - having to do with interpersonal and emotional processes, but they allow psychopaths to convince the gullible that they have ben rehabilitated or 'born again'. (199-200)

Features and Assessment of Psychopathy

Dr. Hare's Psychopathy Checklist

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM: The tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH: A grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM: An excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING: Can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS: The use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT: A lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT: Emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY: A lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE: An intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS: Expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR: A variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS: A variety of behaviors prior to age 13, including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS: An inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

14. IMPULSIVITY: The occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY: Repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS: A failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS: A lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY: Behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE: A revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY: A diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

Is Your Partner A Sociopath !?!?!

This week's Dr. Paul Show featured Donna Andersen who is the author of Love Fraud. Donna has spent many years researching the characteristics of sociopathic behavoir, and she also shares many of her personal experiences being married to her ex-husband who was a sociopath. Donna also discusses 10 traits that will tell you if your sinificant other is a social predator! http://www.lovefraud.com/

Understanding Psychopaths, Psychopathy, Psychopathology

The Sociopath Next Door • Martha C. Stout • Part 1
The Sociopath Next Door (Introduction)

We think of sociopaths as violent although most are quite ordinary with disorders undetected. I realized her lack of conscience is deflected and masked quite well with a mastery of the blame game. Masters of this game come out quite calm and composed when they contend with those equally equipped, but ironically they are flustered and irritated when they contend with non-masters or those who do not have a clue of how the game is played.

She strutted into a meeting without the ingredients and is battered, admonished and embarrassed in front of peers. Her brashness is stripped and ego dented. A phone call subsequently indicated the game is imminent and twenty-four hours later it is in full swing, but with a non-master. Thirty-four hours into the event she is all flustered and irritated.

My question is does she hone her skills when the game is played with a master or with a non-master! Martha offers clues to arm against the sociopath, suspect flattery and recognize pity play. Above all, she explains when the sociopath beckons, how to recognize and deal with the aberration.

The Sociopath Next Door is an absorbing self-help manual. Martha Stout serves in expunging guilt in relevant parties by extracting diabolical strains residing in deep recesses and placing them on the table.

* NEW POST this page:
The Gray Rock Method of Dealing with Psychopaths
http://180rule.com/the-gray-rock-method-of-dealing-with-psychopaths/
- Directions for those who want to get rid of a psychopath contact and directions for those who, through family or work ties, need to retain a contact with a psychopath.

When dealing with malignant narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderlines, drama queens, stalkers and other emotional vampires, it’s commonly advised that no response is the best response to unwanted attention. This is often true and No Contact (the avoidance of all communication) should be used whenever possible.

There are some situations however, when No Contact is not feasible, as in when you share child custody with a psychopath. As another example, if you are being stalked by an ex, a restraining order can infuriate the unwanted suitor, and refusing to respond to him or her is seen as an insult. They might become convinced that they can MAKE you respond and in that way satiate their need for power over you.

Furthermore, many of us have tried to end a relationship with a psychopath several times, only to take them back, each time. They turned on the pity ploy and the charm, and because we didn’t understand that this is what a psychopath does, we fell for their promises to change. They know all of our emotional hooks. For them, it’s easy and fun to lure us back by appealing to our emotions. But a psychopath can’t change.

In fact, when you leave a psychopath, he becomes determined to punish you even more severely for thinking you could be autonomous.

Even if we don’t take them back, the most dangerous time for a person is when they first break up with a psychopath. The psychopath feels rage at being discarded. Losing control or power over a person is not just a narcissistic injury for them; they feel profoundly empty when their partner leaves them — even if they had intended to kill their partner. The reason is because they have lost control. Psychopaths need to feel in control at all times.

For all these situations, we have Gray Rock.

What it is:


So, how do we escape this parasitical leech without triggering his vindictive rage? Gray Rock is primarily a way of encouraging a psychopath, a stalker or other emotionally unbalanced person, to lose interest in you. It differs from No Contact in that you don’t overtly try to avoid contact with these emotional vampires. Instead, you allow contact but only give boring, monotonous responses so that the parasite must go elsewhere for his supply of drama. When contact with you is consistently unsatisfying for the psychopath, his mind is re-trained to expect boredom rather than drama. Psychopaths are addicted to drama and they can’t stand to be bored. With time, he will find a new person to provide drama and he will find himself drawn to you less and less often. Eventually, they just slither away to greener pastures. Gray Rock is a way of training the psychopath to view you as an unsatisfying pursuit — you bore him and he can’t stand boredom.

What it’s for:

Making a psychopath go away of his own volition is one application of Gray Rock. One might say that Gray Rock is a way of breaking up with a psychopath by using the old, “It’s not you, it’s me.” excuse, except that you act it out instead of saying it and the psychopath comes to that conclusion on his own.

Another reason to use Gray Rock is to avoid becoming a target in the first place. If you find yourself in the company of one or more narcissistic personalities — perhaps you work with them or they are members of your family — it’s important to avoid triggering their ENVY. By using Gray Rock, you fade into the background. It’s possible they won’t even remember having met you. If you have already inadvertently attracted their attention and they have already begun to focus in on you, you can still use Gray Rock. Tell them you are boring. Describe a boring life. Talk about the most mundane household chores you accomplished that day — in detail. Some people are naturally lacking in dramatic flair. Find those people and try to hang around them when the psychopath is nearby.

If you must continue a relationship with a psychopath, Gray Rock can serve you as well. Parents sharing joint custody with a psychopathic ex-spouse can use Gray Rock when the ex-spouse tries to trigger their emotions. I acknowledge that any threat to the well-being of our children is overwhelmingly anxiety provoking. Here is where Gray Rock can be applied selectively to draw attention away from what really matters to you. In general, show no emotion to the offending behaviors or words. The psychopath will try different tactics to see which ones get a reaction. With Selective Gray Rock, you choose to respond to the tactic which matters least to you. This will focus the psychopath’s attention on that issue. Remember, the psychopath has no values, so he doesn’t understand what is valuable to us — unless we show him. Selective Gray Rock shows him a decoy. When protecting our children, we can take a lesson from nature: Bird parents who have fledglings are known to feign a broken wing when a predator is in the vicinity. They fake a vulnerability to detract the cat’s attention from their real vulnerability, their babies. In this example, Selective Gray Rock fades all emotions into the background except the ones you want the predator to see.

Why it works:


A psychopath is easily bored. He or she needs constant stimulation to ward off boredom. It isn’t the type of boredom that normal people experience; it’s more like the French word, ennui, which refers to an oppressive boredom or listlessness.

Drama is a psychopath’s remedy for boredom. For drama, they need an audience and some players. Once the drama begins, they feel complete and alive again. They are empowered when pulling the strings that elicit our emotions. Any kind of emotions will do, as long as it is a response to their actions.

A psychopath is an addict. He is addicted to power. His power is acquired by gaining access to our emotions. He is keenly aware of this and needs to constantly test to make sure we are still under his control. He needs to know that we are still eager to do his bidding, make him happy and avoid his wrath. He needs to create drama so he can experience the power of manipulating our emotions. As with any addiction, it is exhilarating to the psychopath when he gets his supply of emotional responses. The more times he experiences a reward for his dramatic behavior, the more addicted he becomes. Conversely, when the reward stops coming, he becomes agitated. He experiences oppressive boredom and he will counter it by creating more drama. BUT if we stay the course and show no emotions, the psychopath will eventually decide that his toy is broken. It doesn’t squirt emotions when he squeezes it anymore! Most likely, he will slither away to find a new toy.

The Gray Rock technique does come with a caveat: psychopaths are dangerous people, if you are in a relationship with one that has already decided to kill you, it will be difficult to change his mind. He may already be poisoning you or sabotaging your vehicle. Take all necessary precautions. In this case, Gray Rock can only hope to buy time until you can make your escape.

How it works:


Psychopaths are attracted to shiny, pretty things that move fast and to bright lights. These things, signal excitement and relieve the psychopath’s ever-present ennui. Your emotional responses are his food of choice, but they aren’t the only things he wants.

He envies everything pretty, shiny and sparkly that you have and he wants whatever you value. You must hide anything that he will notice and envy. If you happen to be very good looking, you need to change that during this time. Use makeup to add bags under your eyes. If you aren’t married to the psychopath, any money or assets he covets should disappear “in a bad investment decision” (consult with your attorney on this). Your shiny sports car has to go, get a beater. If you have a sparkling reputation, anticipate that he will or has already begun to slander you; therefore, don’t allow yourself to be put into any compromising position or pushed into erratic behavior.

The reason he wants to take these things from you, is not necessarily because he wants them for himself, it’s because he wants to see the emotions on your face when you lose them. He wants the power trip associated with being the one who took them from you. By preemptively removing these things from his vision and not reacting with emotion at the losses, you continue to train him with the idea that you are the most boring person on earth, someone he would never want to be.

Origin of Gray Rock:


In 2009, I left my psychopathic partner after 25 years, but I didn’t understand what was wrong with him. I sat in a sushi bar, lost in confusion, when a tall, athletic man introduced himself. To my own surprise, I instinctively poured out my story to him. This complete stranger listened to my story and then he explained to me that I was dealing with a malignant narcissist. He advised me, “Be boring.” He told me that his girlfriend would come home each night, begin drinking and become abusive. They were both professionals who traveled in the same professional circles. He knew that she would stalk him if he broke up with her and he didn’t want to risk the slander and drama which could leak out and damage his professional reputation.

His solution was to be so boring that she would simply leave him. He declined to go out on evenings and weekends. He showed no emotional reaction about anything, no interest in anything and responded with no drama. When she asked if he wanted to go out for dinner, his reply was, “I don’t know.” After a few months of no drama, she simply moved out.

Why is it called Gray Rock?

I chose the words Gray Rock because I needed an object for us to channel when we are in an emotionally charged situation. You don’t just practice Gray Rock, you BECOME a Gray Rock. There are gray rocks and pebbles everywhere you go, but you never notice them. None of them attract your attention. You don’t remember any specific rock you saw today because they blend with the scenery. That is the type of boring that you want to channel when you are dealing with a psychopath. Your boring persona will camouflage you and the psychopath won’t even notice you were there. The stranger in the sushi bar showed great insight when he advised me to “be boring.” He struck at the heart of the psychopath’s motivation: to avoid boredom.

In nature, there are many plants and creatures that show us how to survive in a world of predators. Among others, birds feign injury to protect their babies and mice play dead until the cat loses interest. Both of these tactics can be useful and they can be channeled when applicable. Yet, it’s difficult to calculate each and every move that a psychopath will make and to determine the best course of action each time. Instead of trying to out-think him, channel the gray rock. This simple, humble object in nature has all the wisdom it needs to avoid being noticed, it’s boring.

Defense Against the Psychopath: Part One
How to recognize psychopaths by their Key Character traits.

Lack of Empathy - Lack of Remorse - Superficiality - Grandiosity - Irresponsibility - Impulsive Behavior - Compulsive Lying - Manipulative - Anti Social Behavior

Defense Against the Psychopath is a three part documentary excerpted from chapter one of my book; The Art of Urban Survival. This chapter teaches people how to recognize and defend against our society's most dangerous predators, psychopaths.

Defense Against the Psychopath: Part Two
The different psychopathic archetypes that inhabit different levels of society.

Narcissists (somatic and cerebral)

The Victim

Con-Artists (short con and big store con)

Malevolent Psychopath

Professional Psychopath

Secondary Psychopaths [through trauma or groups(corporations)]

Defense Against the Psychopath Part Three
How to recognize the psychopath's typical Modus Operandi and how to deal with the psychopaths you will inevitably encounter in life.

Modus Operandi:

The Interview

Seduction

Divide and Conquer

Fear and Tyranny

Defense Against:

Acknowledge the existence of evil

Recognize and Identify the Psychopaths

What not to do:

Accept that you can not change or save them

What to do:

Attack - Can be very dangerous!

Evade - No Contact (May have to change locks - change phone numbers - block e-mail account - close bank accounts - get a restraining order - move - take self-defense and fire arms training)

The Sociopath's Game- Covetous

TI = Targeted Individual